My Next 21 Years: Belated Birthday Blog

Credit goes to fellow Hoya Kendall Ciesemier for inspiration and ideas.
http://africaliverslipgloss.com/2013/12/10/21-things-ive-learned-in-my-21st-year/

Some reflections on my past year, in no particular order...

1. Being happy about myself, happy for others, grateful for others, and demonstrating these emotions, is a much better way to navigate life. I can be snarky, and while at the time I might feel a catharsis, I ultimately feel guilt and sadness for treating others less-than-cordially. Wit and snark are not the same thing. Employing the former while foregoing the latter makes for a more positive perspective.

2. Verbatim from Kendall, because I couldn't say it better myself: "Junior year in college [has been] so much better than the years prior because you finally really know people and really know who your friends are. It took me time to feel happy at Georgetown. I liked my experience, but I also felt incredibly lonely a lot of the time. I credit this loneliness to the fact that I just didn’t know people well enough yet. It takes time."

3.  Just because I can't dance like Sylvie Guillem or choreograph like Twyla Tharp doesn't mean I ever have to give up entirely the beauty of dance. I danced for 10 years, and while I'm not destined for Étoile status, my experiences in the studio and on stage will always be important to me.

4. Cracker Barrel is a culinary paradise. Their biscuits, human ambrosia. I hadn't been in a long long time until this year. It's now one of my faves.

5. Never hesitate to tell someone how grateful you are to have her/him in your life. Expressing feelings makes us vulnerable for a stint, but knowing that your friends know how much you mean to them is one of life's greatest comforts. And too much gratitude is impossible.

6. Related to 5: you never know when taking a chance on befriending someone will become one of the biggest payoffs. Again, it's scary, but the chance that you will create or strengthen a friendship is worth it. And if not? Rejection always stings, but all the more reason to focus on the people who want you around.

7. Having mentors is beyond rewarding, but being a mentor is equally rewarding. Knowing people respect you and look up to you motivates you to keep improving and making good choices for yourself.

8. I've learned I'm rather talented at musing. Sometimes I do get lost in my musings, but I find my way back out. I took the Values in Action survey, and Perspective was my #1. I enjoy giving people advice. Not in a sadistic way, in that I enjoy hearing about people's problems and sufferings. When I can use my own experiences to help someone who is going through a rough patch, I feel more appreciative of who I am and where I've been in life.

9. People who constantly mock you, your beliefs, your values, they are not worth your time. Don't let them under your skin. Stick to your guns. Easier said than done, I know. I'm typing this to myself as much as, or even more than, I'm sharing it with others.

10. Never underestimate the power of a phone call. I'm of the generation that generally prefers texts, tweets, and/or Facebook messages, but hearing a friend's voice is refreshing and uplifting.

11. Another Kendall-ism: "Giving people your time will never leave you with not enough." This reminded me of the Level 7 end-of-year chapel, in which we all brought a candle and shared one flame down two rows. The flame represented God's love specifically, but I find this image suitable for love, gratitude, generosity, any virtue really. Not giving people your time will leave you lonely and despondent.

12. Given #11, you can't be everything to everybody. It's impossible. You have to look after yourself too, or you'll never be fully there for others when they need you.

13. Bouts of introversion are nothing to fear or lament. You're born with your temperament, and it develops with you as you grow. There is wiggle room, but if your inner essence wants to stay home and read, stay home and read.

14. You're not the same person you were 5 years ago, 5 months ago, 5 days ago. Life changes are often gradual, but when you do notice them, don't fight them. You are allowed to change your mind about activities, interests, and the like.

15. There truly is a light at the end of almost every tunnel. I remember this time 2 years ago thinking I would never get used to college and would spend the rest of my life pining for the 'easier' days of high school. A piece of my heart will always remain at GPS, but I've discovered that being an alum doesn't mean I will never again be a part of the school. I can always stay involved.

16. We are extremely durable. Paradoxically, we are extremely fragile. This dichotomy is irreconcilable. Doubting your ability to overcome and succeed is draining, but taking stupid risks you know will lead only to bad outcomes is unfair to you and those who love you.

17. Wearing makeup isn't shallow. And when you find your perfect brand in your perfect shade, you'll feel magical. Thank you Kaitlyn for re-introducing me to BareMinerals.

18. As much as I complained about them at the time, Macro and Micro are good subjects to understand, at least on a rudimentary level. They change how you think, not in drastic ways, but with small "Aha!" moments.

19. A Sonia-ism: "Never let fear stop you."

20. You can't help how you feel. You can help how you handle how you feel.

21. Last one from Kendall: "I am extraordinarily blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. Family. Family friends. High School friends. College friends. Coworkers. Bosses. Classmates. Professors. Mentors. So many blessings to count on my 21st birthday."

I took the Real Age Quiz on BuzzFeed and got 42. Ohhhhh, I'm half way there. Cheers to the next 21 years and the lessons and opportunities they will bring me.