This past Wednesday, I had the chance to see Sonia Sotomayor in person and hear about her journey from the Bronx to the highest court in the land. She is my hero. I also heard her speak last January, but when I got the email from the Smithsonian saying she was speaking again, I couldn't turn it down. Just like last year, the whole time I was listening, my heart was warm and bursting with admiration and respect. She is accomplished, wise, but best of all, humble. Her spirit is one I strive to embody in my own life. And this time, she and I spoke in Spanish. It was a dream come true. The only dream better than that would be to clerk for her. But I digress... I could go on and on and on with words of wisdom she spoke in the 2 times I have seen her, but I will choose my top favorites:
"What they had was special, but what I had was equally special."
Or
"What [others have] is special, but what [you have] is equally special."
She actually said this last year when talking about the steep learning curve between her and her fellow Princeton students. At first, she felt isolated, even undeserving for not having as strong of a socioeconomic background as most of her classmates. But she can say she taught herself at age 9 to give herself insulin shots. She and her grandmother shared a very special relationship. In essence, her specific background, adversity-laden as it was, gave her the strength and resolve to get her to Princeton, and eventually to Yale Law, the DA's office, and of course, the Supreme Court. Comparing herself to others only made her feel inferior.
What did I do the rest of the evening? Think of how cool it would be if I could clerk for her; if I were as brilliant, friendly, and accomplished as she is; if I were a more graceful dancer; if I were as thin and gorgeous as Connie Britton; the list goes on. I have to stop and remind myself that my life, though different, is still special. Being everything I want to be is impossible. Something has to give. The sum total of events that compose my life are unique. Nobody else has them. That alone makes what I have, including readers/friends like you, special.
"Like who you are. You have value. You have a reason to be here."
From this year. Ties into the first quote, but she was also talking about living for you and not for others at this point in her interview. I have strengthened my live-life-for-me muscle significantly over the past few years, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to coulda-woulda-shouldas from others. Ultimately, I'm the one who has to live my life, live with my choices and the results. Some advice, no matter how well-intentioned, simply doesn't fit. Maybe it fits to the advice giver, but again, it is I who must do what I need to do for me. It's arduous sometimes, but I have learned that living for you makes for a much happier existence. Do not be afraid to ask for and digest advice, but remember that you're the one who has to decide who you are going to be.
"Be proud of being part of more than one world."
I swear she was speaking directly to me when she said this. As you know, I sometimes find living in two different worlds exhausting. I have to travel, physically and mentally, back and forth all year long. I wish I could unite these worlds more. I wish my ballet girls and I could go to dinner and a Washington Ballet show. I wish my Georgetown friends could visit Chattanooga and meet my hometown friends. Scratch that: I wish I could bring all my friends with me every time I switch gears, but that's not how the worlds work. At least, not seamlessly. I'm up for friend visits in either direction anytime, but I realize they are not always feasible. Thus, instead of lamenting or feeling ashamed of having a multi-faceted life, I need to embrace it. If my worlds are to cross, they will. And I can always take pieces of each with me, sharing my gratitude and love across state lines.
PS If you haven't read her memoir, My Beloved World, I cannot recommend it enough. Prepare to be inspired and amazed.
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