Treatise on Being Single

Econ midterm 2 is over, and I am in need of some "me time." The first hobby that came to mind? Writing. I'll probably be posting a few times this week to unwind from being on high alert 24/7. When I have mental freetime to ponder and fully analyze other topics besides perpetuities and game theory, I relish that time. I'm not writing for a grade or a career. I'm writing for me and for my readers. But I digress...

Shoutout to Katy Beth Barber for sparking the idea for this post a while ago.

"I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude." - Henry David Thoreau

I saw a Buzzfeed of "24 things single people are tired of hearing," and even though I haven't heard all 24 of them live and in-person, each of them resonated. Thus, I am going to write a mini-treatise on being single for all of us who are not in relationships and don't believe we must be to live fulfilling, happy lives.

Single does not mean picky, lonely, antisocial, lazy, or subhuman. It simply means not involved in a romantic relationship with another. Why does society, and my age group in particular (I include myself), see being single as undesirable, even wrong? Yes, humans are by nature social creatures. We are here because or ancestors of yore banded together instead of taking the "each for him/herself" approach to survival. However, not being "taken" does not automatically mean "is undesirable" or "doesn't try hard enough to meet people" or "can't handle a relationship." Forced love always splinters into incompatibility eventually. I don't want to waste my or his time, sanity, heart, insert noun here being someone I'm not.

Confession: I've never had a boyfriend. Never even been on a date. And I don't see anything wrong with that. Sure, it's not "the norm" for someone my age, but I'd rather be single and content than in a relationship and miserable for the sake of being in a relationship. Everyone loses in the latter situation: the couple, their friends, families. Why compel anyone to endure that trainwreck, when being single is nothing to be ashamed of?

Another confession: while the concept of being in a relationship as opposed to a cat lady is appealing, I also find it terrifying. I fear neglecting my Prince Stephen (named for my heartthrob Stephen Colbert, and because nobody names a son "Charming") because I'm too wrapped up in my own life. I already neglect friends too often because I have this or that paper, this or that exam. I fear what others will think of him and of us, who will and won't approve. I fear telling him my biggest dreams and quirkiest factoids (for example, my alter-ego is Rayna James from Nashville. Or ballerina Polina Semionova. I actually have several.) and being judged or even rejected. I fear my dad interrogating him at the dinner table. Man do I not look forward to that. I know I will eventually work through these fears, and Prince Stephen will help me too, if he is truly a prince. I'll probably make mistakes, get caught in petty squabbles or say something off the cuff. But just like anything else, being in a committed relationship takes practice. The good news is, by default, you always have someone right by your side to help you out.

One final note: it is NEVER cool to question someone's sexuality based on relationship status. That takes crass to a revolting level. Any stereotype does because you're messing with an aspect of someone's identity and assigning to it meanings that may or may not (probably not) be accurate. There are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, the list goes on people in the world. But they're all people. It's not classy to show your ignorance by making fun of someone else's life.