I told you I'd be writing a lot in the next few days. It's cathartic. Plus, we all go through phases in life replete with so many sparks of inspiration that we can't parse them quickly enough. And then there are phases when all I would have to tell you is, "I read Jefferson's Notes on the State of Virginia and calculated average total costs for a firm. Yep. *Crickets*" I will hush eventually, I promise. I appreciate your bearing with me until I do. I also promise no "I read the news today oh boy" types of posts, because that's as fun for you to read about as it is for a chef to watch water boil. Yawn.
Have you ever received so much advice concerning a given choice that you feel like you're back at square one? I've had several life moments of that nature in the past few years. I want to go on the record about a few of these, to get my feelings out there in a more digestible format. I'll start with the least recent.
1.5 years ago: "Why do you want to transfer/are you transferring?"
Spoiler alert: I did. Let me say why:
freshman year was an unhappy one for me. I wasn't used to being in the
culture of a college setting. More specifically, I wasn't accustomed to a
culture so imbibed with alcohol and loud parties. I am close to my
family, my friends, my alma mater, my city, all of which I had to leave behind. Point: I wasn't happy, and I wanted to do something about it. If you know me, you know how I loathe the phrase "Suck it up." I know, sometimes it's absolutely necessary. But often, if people are proactive, they can do much more than just suck it up. I wanted to be proactive when came to my life and my happiness. So I packed up my stuff, single-handedly and with a fever might I add, and prepared to relocate to Nashville.
Another spoiler alert, this one more obvious: I came back to Georgetown. I freely admit that. Again, let me say why: I made a mistake. Well that's why in the simplest terms. To elaborate, I didn't realize that what I didn't like about college life was not going to go away, regardless of where my campus was. I also didn't realize, until fall 2012, that what I had come to like about college life, my new friends, my professors, my major's unique dynamic, DC's sights, I would find only at Georgetown. I didn't want to give up my chance to live in the District when I could. I am leaning toward settling down in TN (more on that later); I don't want to live in DC forever. But it's a great place to live for me right now. These 3.5 years are that much more valuable to me knowing that I can thrive here. Instead of being bitter and remorseful for my not-so-normal college career, I'm thankful. Do I get tired of explaining it to new ears? Honestly, yes. But I do so because it's the truth, and I'm not ashamed of doing what I had to do, both times. Plus, rather often, the person to whom I am telling my story needed to hear it (see below). In more ways than I can elaborate here, if the past 2.5 years hadn't unfolded exactly as they had, I wouldn't be in my exact happy place now.
As it turns out, I've been able to help a lot of people in similar positions to mine 1.5 years ago. Just yesterday, in fact, while waiting to meet with a professor, a freshman girl overheard me telling a classmate about my "domestic study abroad." She piped up, "That's really interesting you did that. I'm actually thinking of transferring myself." My heart hurt. I knew that meant she was miserable, just like I had felt. I asked her about the reasons she was contemplating a transfer, what specifically she didn't like up here. Her reasons were different from mine: she felt politically isolated and academically smothered by core requirements. But her reasons are no less valid than mine were. We can't help how we feel, only how we deal with our feelings. I gave her my email and told her to contact me anytime. I hope she will, especially because returning to college after Christmas can be an emotionally wrenching time. But even if she doesn't, any chance I get to use my past experiences to help someone else avoid similar mistakes or misfortunes, I am beyond grateful. Knowing that I can make a positive difference in someone's life, even in a seemingly small way via being there to listen/advise if wanted, is invigorating.
That said, if you, my wonderful readers, are ever struggling with not fitting in or not being happy where you are, I am more than willing to lend an ear in whatever communicative medium you prefer. Both ears in fact. Seriously. I don't say this to be pompous and assume that I know all. I say this because I really do want to help when my experiences make that possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment